Whenever I think about writing a post on this blog, I realize I don't have anything interesting to say ever, or if I do, I just can't think of it when I want to...

My confidence in my writing ability has been on the steady decline, and I mean all forms of writing, essays, poems, songs, etc.. I just don't know what it is. Serious bummer.

Writing for my English classes has become so much more difficult. . .I don't even understand. It used to just come so easy for me, now it is a huge chore to churn out some simple analysis of a poem or a novel or whatever.


Also I still don't understand how I can never be productive enough to record songs I actually feel confident enough to show others, let alone put on an album. I feel so "meh" about the This is My Mess demo from the tour, and it being the only thing close to an "album" that I have, it's very discouraging. Although my feelings towards the accomplishments of my friends are always a mix of amazement and great appreciation, it has been hard not to get a little.. envious of their ability to write and produce, something I just am in a rut with... jealousy.. just what I need for my art..
But really, I'm in love with each and every one of my friends' music, I couldn't possibly respect and appreciate anyone else's music as much as I do theirs, I feel so grateful to be constantly surrounded by such bright and talented folks.

I really want to release a 7'... I wonder how much that costs....

well it is time to attempt some essay writing.. bah hum bug

PS...how do you give each post a title? I still can't figure it out unless I'm typing out the post in Open Office

Oh, Christmas is almost here. Fortunately I've felt considerably less melancholy these last two holiday seasons, but the overall feeling of this holiday still seems empty and foreign to me. It also doesn't help that almost all of the gifts I bought were on a credit card that already has way too much on it(way too much). Oh well, I suppose though. I need to make more money, I think. I'm not sure if it is normal to have this much money on credit at this point, but I'm hoping it isn't too much to deal with.

I am missing the whole Normal routine already a bit, I need a fat injection of rock n roll into my blood very soon or I think I'm going to go fucking crazy! And I need to work, defiantly need to do that.

Well holiday festivities soon... woo hoo............

OH... if you are in the mood for some rap.. check this shit.. new GUCCI ! BURR!

Gucci Mane: “The State Vs Radric Davis”

http://www.mediafire.com/?iy4mm5y01qn

Some tracks to check out.. Classical, Stupid Wild (ft. Lil Wayne), The Movie, Volume, Wasted, & Kush is My Cologne, as well as the Wasted remix (again with Weezy). There is also a ridiculous romantic song with Usher if you're feeling that...

& if you're feelin' the gucc.. hit me up for more... this album isn't the greatest as a whole, and there a quite a few songs far too ridiculous to listen to completely, but its got some definite gems.

PS. I do not approve of Blogger spellcheck claiming "kush" is not a word.

Rock and Roll Masquarades through My Mind and I Feel Like an S.S. Soldier.. please no.

AHH rolling stone is scary. Even when Bruce Springsteen is in it.

So is Tiger Woods.. and the media.

Wintrey break is here and now and it is going to be weird. So weird.

Maybe I'll be changing oil now.

ok here's something:

our friends turn out –

to wash the windows

of snowbeds under the shore

and we still can't care.

The monsters each day bringing

no skill

sit comfortley in the veranda

and make bribes to eachother

For hearts and such,

not even gold

but still casting that long shadow

on the green countryside

Relapsing on happinees

the cardoor fakes stuck

and we don't remember

how to speak to eachother.

Somethings broken down

and it wouldnt make sense

to look at it...

anyways.

Time honored traditions

like red and gold hats

and thick rims on Tennesse glasses

have only come to fade.

Writin on the wall.. gucci gucci gucci gucci gucci

Banjo rabbit destroyed my computer during the previously mentioned Tupac paper.

I have a new computer now, and maybe I'll keep up with this thing. Scott and I had a brief discussion of blogs once, and it made me realize that although I think my blog is really lame, it may not be. But probably.

I haven't been keeping up with anyone else's posts either, but now I will try my best!

Alright.. I don't know what to say.. goodbye.

I am writing a ten page paper on Tupac Shakur.

life ain't no garden, its a pile of rocks and ash

fuck this fucking house, 

the house has reached its peak(and it was so fucking minimal at best) 

and it needs to be over.

yea, taking it all for granted,

but fuck it

and i love people and friends

but this all has reached such a low

I feel like i'm just going crazy

is it my fault, or this goddamn house's ?

[edit..::.. anbbmo]