Hiding dirt under my fingers, 

girl,

a house is not a promise, or a trap

it is you, and it is your heart

and

the space you make can be fine

why we don't see the fires

but you

radiate; you breath again

Make shift mirrors, the dreams

sing,

make your mouth move some lies

forget the tunes and times

now true,

and again.

I skewered the snake with a mongoose-like pose, I felt so unreal in front of my friends.

So now, you're in the closet, and I'm on that hook-- a cattle production, nine divided by ten.

The grass in your wallet, the sand on your chest, a virgin-like memory.

I can't fade, or I can't be held.

Reactionary seeds, and words of stone and salt. Anchoring a ship away from its sails.

Living a mule, burning inside of the moss. Becoming a cousin to a foreign widow.

This is how we survive, this is the means we have to breath. 

We take turns in the oven, we make love to the mirrors. 

The society cranks and turns, and our eyes roll inside of our skulls.

People are bad, people are sad.

Its time for Banjo! I don't think the "thundy house" is a safe place for a little critter, but luckily we're only here for like another month.  

The Orkin man just came and sprayed our house for non-existent bugs, and it smells weird and I feel like I'm getting poisoned when I breath it in.  Maybe it's for the best.

I think that I am the lamest person I know.

No money to waste,

no money to save.

Charity case -- 

with each breath I take.

I feel so indentured

but not like a slave.

Get blue when I mention

these troubles of age.

I am feeling normal lately.  Its weird how I always miss home too, and great.

I did this once..

I used this blog about two years ago, and I will now revive it!

Being in the city this weekend was like therapy.

I let my head leak the anxieties and fears I've been suffering from into the streets, and I felt free and alone for the first time in about two years.  

I was surrounded by good friends and a new feeling of control.  I liked it.  I know if I let it evolve burdens and troubles will be lifted, or at least I hope.

For about three of four minutes of the first L ride, my mind caved in on itself and I had a feeling of being lost and wanting nothing more than a warm bed.  I felt like I was face down in a muddy puddle, with people walking by- wearing scowls and showing their contempt.  

The feeling faded quicker than I could imagine and the rest of the weekend was like stated previously.  It put my life(more specifically my time spent in Normal) in a less-than-dismal perspective.  

It is nice to have that sometimes.